A hiring manager has 10 positions to fill. He receives dozens of calls a day for job openings. People are desperate for employment. He has a pile of 100 applications on his desk. Lets begin:
Out of the 100 applications , 3 put no phone number. We are down to 97.
He needs someone available any time but will settle for evenings on weekdays and all day on week ends.
60 applications request weekends off or only want to work 2-3 specific days a week or already have a job and want someone to work around their schedule.
We are down to 37 applications.
10 applicants have previously worked with the company and were terminated. 27 applications
The hiring manager calls all 27 even though most have no experience. Some are no longer interested, five have non working phone numbers but he is able to set up 20 interviews. Only 17 show up for their interviews but 2 are 30 min late.
Down to 15.
One young man says he has a short attention span and as long as someone keeps an eye on him he will do OK. Two others say that they will need the company to work around their random meetings with a parole officer. One admits that a friend will be their transportation and gladly take them to work each day from now to the end of time (yeah right). One says that as long as they can get a babysitter each day hey will show up for work. She promises it won't be too often.
We are now down to a fortunate 10 who have no experience but actually are available to work and most importantly they are breathing and alive. ALL 10 GET A JOB!!!!!!!!
WE are not done yet.....
Only 8 of these show up for new hire paperwork. One leaves abruptly at the mention of a drug test. Almost everyone fills out some of the paperwork incorrectly but all is forgiven since these positions must be filled. Employees are given uniforms - badges and their schedules. They also must attend orientation class the next day. We now only have 7 left.
Only 5 show up for orientation and ALL 5 ARE LATE!!!!!
Once again all is forgiven.
The positions require a certification class that includes a very simple quiz at the end that must be passed. One falls asleep and fails. We are down to 4
One is late to work the first day. 3 left
Later that week a background check reveals another must be let go.
2 left
Another says she is no longer available to work weekends.
The last one was overqualified for the position and the company is thrilled to have him! After 4 weeks he finds a better job.
We are now at 0 and a hiring manager has 10 positions to fill. He receives dozens of calls a day for job openings. People are desperate for employment. He has a pile of 100 applications on his desk.
AND THERE AINT NO JOBS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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