CHRISTIAN : A feminine do good-er that does trite nice things for the praise of others and the uplifting of their own self esteem. A person that knows nothing of what they believe and cannot defend their position in a thoughtful logical way - but they believe what they believe and defend it with anger and name calling. They need a person to read the same book over and over to them each week explaining in detail the simplest concepts. The book is constantly having to be reduced from a high school reading level to a second grade reading level with pictures,video,and stage props because the majority of Christians are just too stupid to read the Bible for what it says, understand and follow directions. An amazing fact considering that most of the book was written by uneducated fishermen , shepherds , from a third world country. This isn't MIT material. They sing songs that are reduced to hypnotic trances and mantras of the same 4 words over and over lead by a kid with uncombed hair, dirty clothes with holes in their pants who sing so loud that they drown out the congregation. They then get so caught up in their performance they don't notice that no one can keep up with their new version of a song they thought they knew.
They beg everyone for money and think that getting others to help them in their cause is some kind of sacrifice on their own part. When confronted with the strong statements that they claim to believe (it is in the Bible of course) they back down and explain that the Bible doesn't really say what it really says and apologize for the offence.
Then there are the zealots where everything small unimportant thing is an offence. I am offended at your smoking,drinking,language,heathen ways,and I AM VERY ANGRY AND UPSET!!!! Why is that? If there is an offence it is not against the Christian but against God. Why take offence? Don't you expect people to act like people? Why are you surprised?
They claim that Jesus saved them then try to save themselves by good works because as we all know all good people go to heaven. Then they say we are all sinners. They claim to believe the book of Genesis is true and then say we are also decedents of apes. They believe in marriage and then welcome gay lovers into their membership and fellowship without any judgement. They sing and dance and do mission work with poor people then divorce their wives , cheat on their taxes, step on others climbing the cooperate ladder,run of the older church members who do not like the most recent fads in the church. They create a carnival like atmosphere to get you in the door , tell you how wonderful you are and how with God you can succeed, then ask you to please invite Jesus to live in your heart (whatever that means).. They shake your hand and give you a fake smile , tell you how great it is to have you here with them today , show you the donuts and coffee , lead you to a Bible study where no one actually brings a Bible or even mentions it. They give you another fake smile as you go and wish you come back again.
WE HAVE MADE A JOKE OF OURSELVES AND I AM NOT OFFENDED WHEN PEOPLE LAUGH AT US. I LAUGH TOO , THEN I CRY.